Welcome And The Core Question
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Welcome to Islamic Life Code School Podcast. Apply tools that you learn in this podcast and your life will be unrecognizably successful. Now your host, Dr. Gamal Abdar.
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Hello, hello, hello everyone. Peace and blessings be
Fiqh Versus Lived Transformation
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upon all of you. Today we're going to be talking about having experiential knowledge of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. Fiqh is a worldly science and this is jurisprudence. It has everything to do with the understanding of the religion. At the same time, it has very little to do with experiencing your lived reality as a human being. And this is a powerful distinction because it separates knowledge about Islam from the transformation that Islam is meant to produce. So for a Muslim woman struggling with anxiety, shame, perfectionism, people pleasing, or the after effects of trauma, this distinction is revolutionary because you might have spent years accumulating Islamic information while remaining emotionally unchanged. And this has nothing to do with me putting down information. Information is vital. It just means that information and transformation are not the same thing. Fik tells you what Allah has commanded, but it does not automatically teach you the how, how to become the kind of person who can consistently live those commands. So you might know the rulings and the fiqh of lowering your gaze, you might know how to control your tongue or what maintaining family ties is all about. You know that you're supposed to avoid backbiting. And yet maybe you repeatedly find yourself failing at any of these because the obstacle is not the ignorance of the ruling. The obstacle is fear, anger, insecurity, resentment. All of these deeply practiced emotional patterns. Fik identifies your destination. The mental and the spiritual development, the Tessaw, helps remove the obstacles on the road. Jurisperance or Fik answers the question what is permissible? And mental health asks why do I keep doing what I know I shouldn't? And these are completely different questions. You know that gossip is haram, but you gossip anyways because it temporarily relieves the loneliness or it gives you a sense of belonging. You know how much arrogance is condemned, but you continue to seek superiority in subconscious ways because the sense of inadequacy that your lower brain offers has become unbearable, so arrogance feels like a relief from that. Your chronic anxiety takes you away from the wakkul, so the fiqh can correctly diagnose the external behavior, and psychological and spiritual work remains on you. And I do have to emphasize how many Muslims, men and women alike, confuse religious education with inner purification, while the Quran repeatedly calls people to reflect, remember, and purify themselves, to soften your hearts. The destination has always been transformation, not just correct information. Describing reality is different than changing it. Reading about patience does not make you more patient. More than reading a surgical textbook makes you a surgeon, competence of patience develops through repeated practice, emotional regulation, humility, gratitude, courage, forgiveness, and trust in Allah. All of these can develop your patience and they're done through repeated experiences, awareness, and exercises. All of this requires intentional
The Map Is Not The Journey
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practice. So before you become a proud collector of Islamic information, I want you to just notice if you're remaining behind on development of your Islamic character. This is the difference between the map and the territory as NLP would put it. Fiqh is an extraordinarily detailed map of the path to Allah. This map is indispensable because it tells you where to go and where not to go. But having the map is not the same as walking the journey. Walking itself requires endurance, courage, resilience, perseverance. So as a metaphor, what you're doing is collecting more maps and confusing that with making progress. So I'm challenging the modern assumption that just because something is Islamic, it must automatically address every dimension of the human being. Quran itself distinguishes between the people who know intellectually and people whose hearts have changed. Even Iblis possessed immense knowledge about Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, and his downfall was not intellectual deficiency. It was the disease of the heart, it was arrogance. The coaching work that I do does not compete with the fiqh teachings. It just serves those teachings. The fiqh and the Islamic recommendations might tell you that you should take the high road and forgive, and coaching will help you identify the resentment that keeps forgiveness impossible. Fiqh teaches you tawakul, believe in Allah. Coaching exposes your catastrophic thinking that prevents that trust, that prevents that tawakul. If Islamic teachings are calling you towards gratitude and you have knowledge about that, coaching will help you reveal the practiced attention towards lack instead of abundance. Fiqhi teachings will command justice and coaching will help you uncover the fear that causes you to abandon your own boundaries and anything that causes you to abandon justice towards yourself. Coaching is the bridge between knowing Allah's commands and becoming psychologically and spiritually capable of living them. Religion can be studied as an academic discipline without ever becoming the operating system of the heart, because the intellect is what memorizes the rulings and ego is what continues to rule the personality. The miracle of Islam is not producing scholars, it's producing human beings whose character becomes so transformed that the religion begins to live through you.
Al Razi And The Old Woman
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Al Razi was one of the greatest intellectual in Islamic history and his intellectual rigor served Ummah immensely. When al Razi was surrounded by a crowd and celebrating his intellectual achievements and his thousand proofs of God's existence, an old woman asked who he was. She was told of his thousand proofs of Allah. She laughed and remarked that he must have thousand doubts to need these proofs. And struck by her pure unshakable faith, Arazi reportedly prayed, O Allah, grant me faith like that of the old woman. And keeping in mind as I unfold this story is that I'm not presenting it as an attack on intellectuals or an attack of scholarship. I'm presenting this as an example where this story tells you that intellectual certainty and existential certainty are not the same thing. The old woman did not have one thousand philosophical arguments of Allah's existence because she did not need them. This phrase the religion of old women is attributed in Islamic tradition as the expression of simple, sincere faith, and it's not necessarily celebrating ignorance which I originally mistook it as. It recognizes that there is a kind of certainty that comes from lifetime of living with Allah. The old woman who cannot explain the classifications of the Wakul, the stations of the nafs, still sleeps peacefully because she knows that Allah will take her through every hardship. Her knowledge is embodied. It has become the part of her nervous system. Now contrast this with someone who has studied the science of the Zgiya and has studied Fik extensively. This woman can provide you all of the definitions of Sabur, Shukar, Iglas, Murakaba, Rida, and she can know the names of these stations and the diseases of the heart. Yet when her husband criticizes her, her body goes into shame and collapses, and this has profound implications for the well being of you as a Muslim woman, because you might have unconsciously equated accumulating Islamic knowledge with spiritual growth. And the irony that I'm trying to point out is that the elderly woman with simple faith has greater psychological well being than the highly educated student of Islamic sciences because this old woman has spent her life practicing resilience, not just studying it. And this is where coaching naturally fits. My work is not to teach you more Islamic rulings, it's to help you embody the beliefs that you already know that you should have. Coaching is to help
Embodied Faith And Real Well Being
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you with your belief, your yachin, and for it to become a tool or regulation of your nervous system rather than a silent suppression. So in this sense, your psychological well being is not a separate path from your spiritual well being. It is the evidence that the realities of faith have finally moved from information into transformation. The religion of that old woman is not the absence of knowledge, it's the knowledge that has disappeared only to become character. So once you become a woman who's experienced poverty and still found abundance and provision, you have found the religion of the old woman. If you have watched doors close when Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala open other ones that you never imagined, you have found her religion. If you've found a way to create ease out of every hardship, then your heart and mind has become transformational, then you have learned the skill of alchemizing and becoming skillful at changing hardships into ease. So please, at any level do not reduce mental well being to knowing more. Your mental well being is from your repeated living the realities that your intellect already accepts. Tawakul becomes a learned and lived reality every time you tolerate uncertainty without trying to control the outcome. Sabur is learned every time you remain regulated during hardship, and this applies even if you feel intense emotions. Your faith is built every time you look back and you recognize that you're in Allah's mercy. So the religion of this old woman is not anti intellectual. It is the completion of the intellectual knowledge. This is what happens when theology and knowledge descends into the heart, into the nervous system, and it comes out into your habits, into your perception of the world, and eventually it becomes the lens through which you experience life itself. No amount of knowledge is going to guarantee how you will actually experience peace. Although you might be getting indirectly coached through books and knowledge, but you have to remember that that's because of your perception of the written material or the learned material, that is not strictly from the knowledge itself. So I'm a big proponent of knowing the fiqh rulings and having the knowledge, but I'm even a bigger proponent of making this into a lived reality. When your Islam becomes embodied, the knowledge has travelled from intellect to perception, and that translates into behavior which then transforms your character.
The C-NEAR Formula For Change
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And this is where my C dash near formula comes so very handy C for circumstance, N for nervous system thoughts, E for emotions, A for actions, and R for results. Every circumstance in your life is filtered through your interpretation of it. So what you think a Quranic verse means or what you think Allah's decree means, those interpretations will create your emotional experience, and this is basically the response of your nervous system, which will shape your actions and ultimately produce the life that you're currently living. So the religion you practice is not simply the religion you know, it is the religion that exists in your thinking. It exists from your perceptions. Two Muslim women can possess the exact same knowledge about Islam and experience it entirely differently because of the meaning they attach to that same knowledge. Both will know that Allah is always, and one interprets it as the invitation to release control, she eases into tolerance of the uncertainty. The other one believes she must still anticipate every possible disaster and has to be hypervigilant. Both know the same ruling and can quote the same verses, yet one lives with peace and the other one lives with chronic anxiety. All of this is because of the gap between knowledge and the practice of that knowledge. This is why internal work is absolutely indispensable.
Unseen Beliefs That Warp Worship
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Every one of us carries biases, blind spots, inherited assumptions. We are functioning from fears that we don't even know exist. If you're a woman who secretly believes that your worth depends on your performance, then you may turn every religious obligation into another opportunity to prove yourself, which becomes very exhausting. If you're a woman who believes mistakes make you unworthy, you may experience repentance as humiliation rather than mercy. This is extremely tolling on your nervous system. If you're a woman who fears rejection, you might interpret obedience as an attempt to earn Allah's love instead of responding to Allah's love that already exists abundantly. When you work with me through the C Dash Near algorithm in coaching, your thoughts about all of these situations become visible. You begin to notice not only what Allah has said, but what your mind is adding to what Allah has said. You discover the commentary that has been running alongside your knowledge of Islam. And this awareness gives you the opportunity to question your assumptions. You get to challenge your blind spots and replace your believed narratives with meanings that are more useful to you, more expansive, more consistent with Allah's attributes. And this is where genuine internal change begins. So in this sense, this tool, this algorithm, becomes a bridge from Fik to Tas. Fik teaches you what Allah asks you, and when you question your narratives, it helps you examine the meanings you've attached to those teachings. And then you get to choose the meaning that are more aligned with the reality you want to live, the emotional experience you want to have in this world. This way your behavior changes, your relationships change, and your outcomes change. The knowledge that was once in your mind starts to become more embodied. The goal is to become the kind of woman whose relationship with Allah has become so deeply embodied that it shapes the way you interpret every circumstance, and you come to it with a regulated nervous system. Maybe this is what the religion of the old woman ultimately represents. It's not to highlight the absence of scholarship, rather it's the completion of it. And this is the journey every Muslim woman is invited to
Prayer, Renewal, And Closing
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take. With that I pray to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, O Allah, make your religion more than knowledge upon my tongue. Let it become the certainty in my heart and wisdom in my mind. Ya Allah, purify all of our thoughts from every bias and fear. Make our knowledge a means of transformation and our transformation a means of nearness to you. Amin Ya Rabul Adamin. Please keep me in your draws. I will talk to you guys next time.
