It's Okay to Feel Pain!

Fairy Tales! They are undoubtedly one of the most cherished thing about our childhood! We all grew up listening to them. Watching them! But so many of us end up committing the grave mistake of BELIEVING in them. Life, my dear, is absolutely nothing like a fairy tale.

 
Many of us grew up pining for our Mr. Perfect who would miraculously come into our lives and make everything okay! He’d would fix our broken selves, fulfill our dreams and quite frankly sweep us off our feet by his unmatched charm!

 
The point is that these storylines give us distorted ambitions and false narratives. We are not consciously believing it. But somewhere, deep down in our unconscious minds we really want out lives to turn out like magnificent fairy tales with a happy ending.

 
But the truth is , Life isn’t anything like a fairy tale. You can’t just wait for good things to happen to you by sheer chance! And even if you try really hard , you will have your fair share of trials.

 
Life is supposed to work in this way. You don’t get to choose the good things and push away the bad ones. It’s always Good AND Bad! Life is all about winning and losing. It’s about success and failures. Life is about disappointments, anger, anxiety, fear, betrayal and what not! 

Life can be painful. More for some and less for others. But there is no life on this earth without pain. You can’t avoid or deny it’s existence. 

I get it! You want to be happy and achieve good things in your life. You want to be successful. You want to find true love. You want to make money. It’s perfectly okay. Life is a pursuit of happiness!

 
But here’s the missing link! You have to first work on your unresolved issues around pain, failure or disappointment. You can’t skip on the painful moments in your life and jump towards the happy ending. 

You really, really need to allow yourself to feel the pain, accept it, witness it in its truest form and most importantly integrate in your own lives. It is only then you can use PAIN as a vehicle for growth and fulfillment in life. And once you learn to do that, there’s no stopping you my friend. The world is your oyster!

 
Remember all those times when you stood in front of the mirror all dressed up and still didn’t feel beautiful! And those endless household chores that you diligently do every single day and still being called the unproductive housewife! And what about those times when you’re fat shamed because it’s two months after the birth of your baby and you still haven’t managed to get back in shape. Or that time when you have questioned your insanity when your kids have wreaked havoc at a party and now suddenly you are a bad mother! 

Worse, Imagine investing all your time, energy, feelings and sincerity in a relationship and one day your partner comes and says to you that I don’t love you anymore!

 
Dreams and hopes are broken every other day. And when they do, one can only imagine the amount of heartache and despair it brings forth.

 
But then, such is Life! Every day is a new challenge and the key is to find the power within ourselves to combat it with ever growing vitality and vigor. 

And in those silent battles that we fight each day, lies the real beauty of our lives. There are good days and there are bad days. Perhaps, all those trying times make our achievements even more powerful.

 
The thing is you have to realize that you don’t need anyone to save you. You don’t need to be rescued. The person you needed had been within you all along. And now is the time to pick up the shattered pieces of your past and start building your life afresh! 

Life is always about falling and failing. It’s like giving a horribly tough exam for which you weren’t even prepared in the first place. No matter how grim things seem, there’s always someone who has had it worse.
So here’s is what I want you to leave you with, our lives are not fairy tales and there are no guaranteed happy endings. Maybe, it’s not about the happy ending, it’s about the whole story.  
Remember, that you don’t need any prince charming to fight your battles and survive your failures or even celebrate your successes or joys. The only person you need to help you get another chance at life is YOURSELF! 

And NOW is a good time as any to turn your life around. Connect with your coach Dr. Kanwal Akhtar at Islamic Life Coach School and embark on a wonderful journey where she teaches you to become the best version of yourselves and start living your life to the fullest.